Where Would I Go To If I Was A 5 Star Athlete

I was thinking about where I would go, if I was being recruited by every school like some of these kids. Here are my top 5.

5# UCLA
Why?
It reminds me of the movie Blue Chips, it's in LA and the chicks are plentiful. It's warm, it's fun and seems like it would be awesome. Sure the athletics have taken a back step in recent years, and maybe Basketball gets noticed more than the football program. I just feel that you could have an awesome college experience there if you were a stand out.

4# Michigan
My only northern school I would consider. Sure it's cold as fuck, but the name still has credibility. I hate most Big 10 schools so I would love the opportunity to beat those flamingos from Ohio State or smug dickbags from Lansing. Michigan has a proud tradition and greats like Tyrone Wheatley and Tim Biakabutuka went there (Yes, whatever, probably more famous players). I feel that you would be an absolute God if you led the team to a national championship, hell Denard Robinson and Chad henne weren't even that great and you know they got absurd ass.

3# Florida State
I know Tallahassee sucks, but the tits that get shown during every home game is absurd. Florida State has a long list of awesome players from Deion to Charlie Ward to Peter Warrick, that's a group I want to be mentioned with. Also, Jenn Sterger went there and I just had it embedded in my mind that every chick walks around with Daisy Dukes and cut shirts and a cowboy hat.

2# USC

I know USC would probably be number 1 on everyone's list, what isn't to like about it, warm weather, model chicks, celebrity lifestyle etc. Fuck, Matt Lienart threw away his NFL Career because he liked going to USC so much. USC is still a power house and will continue to get a ton of prospects every year. So you know you will be at least talked about and on the fast track to the NFL as an overrated prospect.

And my number 1 school is of course.....


The U

I know it may be humid, I know Miami isn't the safest place, however....... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE U.

Want to be the god of a corrupt city and bang hot cuban chicks all day while getting paid not to go to class? Go to the U. It's the ultimate school for people who could care less about academic achievements and more about making a rap song about how you ran a train with the 2 Live Crew on some chicks. I went to the campus a couple years ago and it was amazing, hot tubs everywhere, hot chicks everywhere, iguanas running around. Just an amazing school with an awesome tradition. Plus you have a bad day, go to South Beach to take a nap.

And this shit still happens with recruits there: