Apr 25, 2013

Dueling Couches Mock Draft



Since I am always right about my predictions when I look into my crystal ball here is what I see is going to happen in tonight's draft.

Round 1
Pick Team
1 Kansas City Chiefs: Eric Fisher OT Central Michigan. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know one thing about this guy and know one thing about Central Michigan, however, all the defensive players have seemed to drop off for some reasons, so OL takes over the top of the draft.
2 Buffalo Bills: Geno Smith QB West Virginia; Yes, this is the Jaguars pick, but the Jaguars need so much they don't know what to do with themselves. Bills need a future QB and they trade up and scoop one up. This will be looked at as a reach, but I like Geno.
3 New York Jets: Dee Milliner CB Alabama; The Jets trade with the Raiders to grab their Revis replacement in Milliner. Milliner is by far the best CB in this draft and the Jets snag him.
4 Philadelphia Eagles: Dion Jordan DE Oregon; I had to here. I just had too. Chip Kelly selects his boy, he's a fast versatile DE that the Eagles desperately need and they are able to grab him here.
5 Detroit Lions: Ziggy Ansah DE BYU;Looking to secure that absurd defensive line they already have, Ansah will Ansah the phone when the Lions come calling.
6 Cleveland Browns: Sharif Floyd DT Florida; They are pretty bummed that they missed out on Geno and Milliner, but they get the best DT in the draft. May not be a huge need, but not a bad get.
7 Arizona Cardinals: Chance Warmack OG Alabama; I do know Chance, and he is a hell of a leader and he is a hell of a lineman. The Cardinals have a shitty team but this should give whoever enough time to find Larry Fitzgerald.
8 Jacksonville Jaguars: Lane Johnson OL Oklahoma; The Jaguars traded down and get the exact guy they wanted in the first place. Lane Johnson is an athletic lineman that should help the line for years.
9 Oakland Raiders: Barkevious Mingo LB LSU: Not only the funnest name in the draft but a great fit for the Raiders with the loss of shithead Rolando McClain.
10 Tennessee Titans: Star Lotulelei DT Utah: Second best name in the draft goes right after Mingo. The Titans need defensive help and pick up a guy with tremendous upside. Could have been the 1st overall pick if injury concerns didn't pop up.
11 San Diego Chargers: DJ Fluker OT Alabama: Fluker will fit in fine with the Chargers and their need of protection on the outside.
12 Miami Dolphins: Jonathan Cooper OG UNC: The Dolphins will need to ensure the health of Ryan Tannehill if they want to have any success going forward.
13 New York Jets: Tyler Eifert TE Notre Dame: Great start of the draft from the Jets with Milliner and Eifert. I really wanted the Steelers to grab him because he is in a Gronk type of mold and will be a huge Red Zone target for whoever is throwing the ball for the Jets.
14 Carolina Panthers: Tavon Austin WR West Virginia; I had too here. Austin is so explosive and you line him up with Cam Newton, magical things can happen. Austin is one of my favorite players in this draft and despite his size he will be a hell of a player. Think of him as Randall Cobb, but a lot more polished.
15 New Orleans Saints: Sylvester Williams DT UNC: I could have gone with any number of defensive players here, but I think this is the best fit. Williams can be the cornerstone of New Orleans new 3-4 defense and then they can go from there.
16 St. Louis Rams: Kenny Vaccaro S Texas: Vaccaro is a good get and will help Courtland Finnigan in the defensive backfield. The Rams have a whole lot of issues, so grabbing the best safety in the draft isn't a bad thing.
17 Pittsburgh Steelers: Jarvis Jones LB Georgia: Although I may have wanted Eifert a little more, I am happy with either. Jones will be the next Steelers LB that will be great. He is great for a 3-4 scheme and just has a motor that doesn't stop. he can get integrated into the scheme perfectly by just blitzing every time.
18 Dallas Cowboys: Sheldon Richardson DT Mizzou: Defensive line had some departures this year so being able to add a guy like Richardson this late is a good get.
19 New York Giants: Justin Pugh OT Syracuse: Have to keep ShEli up if you want to keep knocking off the Patriots for the Superbowl,
20 Chicago Bears: Manti Teo LB ND: With Urlacher gone, with briggs getting old, Teo seems like a perfect heir apparent for the Bears defense. Although I don't like him as a person or as a player, experts seem to think he's good, so whatever. Fuck him.
21 Cincinnati Bengals: Eddie Lacy RB Alabama: They finally get a RB who will be an everydown, explosive guy. no more dealing with BJGE and Cedric Benson's. Get their best RB since Corey Dillon.
22 St. Louis Rams: Cordarrelle Patterson WR Tennessee: FINALLY they decide to get Sam Bradford some damn help. I like this kid a lot, he's big and athletic something the Rams offense desperately needs.
(from Washington Redskins)
23 Minnesota Vikings: Justin Hunter WR Tennessee: Back to back volunteers. With the departure of Percy Harvin, Hunter will be a good secondary option to Greg Jennings.
24 Indianapolis Colts: Xavier Rhodes CB FSU: They need a lot of help in the secondary and they get a really good value pick here.
25 Minnesota Vikings: Desmond Trufant CB Washington: Straight value here. Help out their secondary in a pass happy NFC North and thats never a bad thing to pick up as many CBs as possible.
(from Seattle Seahawks)
26 Green Bay Packers:Eric Reid S LSU: BMack is jumping for joy, his "favorite" team drafted someone from his "favorite" college. The Packers need to replace Charles Woodson and they got a guuy here that they can plug in right away.
27 Houston Texans: Robert Woods WR USC: It seems like everyone is sleeping on Robert Woods and I really like him. Woods could be the most impactful WR in this draft, but yet, whatever.
28 Denver Broncos: Bjourn Werner DE FSU: They need defensive rush help and to find a guy like Werner this late is a great pick.
29 Philadelphia Eagles: E.J. Manual QB FSU: The Patriots trade out of this pick to get a higher 2nd pick and a 3rd or 4th and the Eagles select the best QB in the draft in Manual. E.J. has all the tools you want in a QB and is a big strong, and surprisingly fast guy. Eagles are well on their way.
30 Atlanta Falcons: John Cyprien FS Florida International: The Falcons may not need a FS, but in a division with Cam Newton and Drew Brees they need all the secondary help they need.
31 San Francisco 49ers: Jesse Williams Dt Alabama: Because why not have the best team in football with the best defensive line in football get better?
32 Baltimore Ravens: Alec Ogletree ILB Georgia: Again, the Ravens are blessed by having someone who should have been drafted in the mid first fall to them later. Ogletree is a much needed help in this depleted defense.

I am so happy I don't need to do this for another year, it sucks.

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